1. |
Mandala
01:50
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2. |
Lullaby
03:35
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Oh
how your black dress hugs your skin
hiding layers deep within.
Bet your big bones trap the
monster who's given in.
I'm not where I ought to be
in a dark toy factory.
All these puppets and
strings and dead batteries.
Drown yourself in the waters so green. You won't have to see the flesh and bones who breathe once more only to settle the score. Grab a drink while my knees bend in half and these monsters laugh.
Hair, teeth,
nails, and bone move on their own
with breath...
breath from your own lungs.
My lungs have collapsed.
These monsters now attack.
Drowning me with agony but
be damn sure that I'll fight back.
Drown yourself in the waters so green. You don't have to see the flesh and bones who breathe once more only to settle the score. Grab a drink while my knees bend in half and these monsters laugh.
A boy of eight climbs into bed
to ask his mother why the dead
would want to hurt such innocence,
a fragile being, a gentle prince.
They only live again because of her.
So now he writes this lullaby
with her in mind;
her face, her spine.
And all the toys who mocked him there
and that green sink filled with her hair
and now they live forever in his head.
She will sink her head again.
You think you've got me caught?
I think not.
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3. |
Functional Dyspepsia
03:33
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My vision blurs, as if to say,
"You deserve to feel this way".
And all my weak attempts to stand
won't stop this earthquake in my hands.
As I breathe in air just comes out.
I can't retain the words you shout.
The structure of my life unwinds.
With nothing to lose I lose my mind.
I find myself wanting to rest
this angry drum inside my chest.
If only I could cut a vein
and let it sleep another day.
I'll force my insides from within
onto this smooth white porcelline.
But my throat's too scarred to make it through.
I guess this blade will have to do.
Look me in the eyes as I roll down my sleeves.
Speak your words while my bones shiver as they please.
I've such fear that I won't be the thing you need.
Conversations die and I feel so guilty.
I've lost my ability to feel. All is numb and I don't know what's real.
Days aren't days. They're obstacles that must be faced.
God I just want to get out of this place.
Oh it's so loud in here. The sounds of people without fear who will converse while I sit here. I've no lines to contribute to this simple dialogue. I guess the writers preferred me an extra, so I've no monologue. No lines to form suspense and resolve. Just a beer in hand and a chair to sit on. It seems that my young mind holds no information that they will find worthy of discussion for any time.
Please just get out of my head. No, I don't need your judgement tearing through my skin 'till it's red. I'll lock the door up so tight. Alone inside my room's the only place that I can feel right. As I lay in the dark I endure a constant shaking and an angry beating of my heart. So now inside my sheets I pray my brain will finally grant me a bit of sleep, only for me to wake up and repeat.
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4. |
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When the mountain swallows the sun from the blue sky I'll know that you're still the only one who pulls it back up. And when the moon turns crescent it's you who fills it up. My glass is full with the thought of you. It floods my room up. Write to me, oh darling. Sing me all your songs. Your voice will heal all my worries on this beautiful dawn. I will never leave you. I'll love you 'till my heart pumps out the final ounce of liquid it's been pumping from the very start.
Silly, silly, silly boy.
Your mind creates this stupid joy
that feeds my needs and reassures me
that you're my pet and wind-up toy.
"I love you darling", you will say
as you kiss me in the rain.
But you only mean as much to me
as the fake monsters in my brain
and
I see confetti rain.
I care not of your pain.
I care for other men
and all the things that I will gain.
My empty words are true
(well, true enough to you)
and I dread the day you realize
I'm not the one you thought you knew.
She said "Let's go out dancing" and I thought "What a fun night this will be". She wore her prettiest dress and I thought it was for me. But from his stage his brain sends through his mouth the thoughts and the words of a thousand angels through such a graceful melody. His hands will strum the guitar just like my shirt from her skin. As I lay in the next room my stomach's caving in. And on his stage together they lay intertwined in the sheets and the TV blares and the lights are turned down so dim.
What if I told you that I'm not ready for this?
Do I mean nothing to you?
Are these things you tell me true?
Do I not cross your mind when thinking about the things you do?
Oh I hope his bed was so warm.
Warm as the hole that you've torn
straight through my wind pipe so words could no longer be born.
I thought I could be your reason to wake up every morning but he's become the reason for my being. You've become so boring.
I'll go.
No...no
I know my actions cause you so much fear.
Fear like the creatures that I see so near.
You're so afraid that I will disappear.
Shorten the distance between mouth and ear.
Why would you do this?
How could you do this?
Why did you do this, dear?
All these things you see...
things you claim to see...
are they all really here?
And tonight I will shed my last tear for you on top of this hill with a beautiful view. These bright city lights will remind me of how it used to be when it was just you and me. So tonight as I shed my last tear for you I'll no longer believe that these creatures are true. So I just want to say as this all comes to an end that I hope it was fun to pretend.
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